Whether it's your first pregnancy or you have already been through a loss, one thing we all have in common is worry, worry, worry. This is okay, but remember that 90% of pregnancies end with a squawling baby, regardless of the turmoil the mom has gone through to get there. Here are the most common things you will fret over, and why they are not really a problem.
Bleeding: Small amounts of brown blood (which means it's old) are expected when the egg implants in the uterus (7-10 days after ovulation) and sometimes at the point when you would have expected your period. You may also bleed slightly after having sex, but this is probably NOT from the baby. Your cervix is soft and filled with blood, so it may bleed a little from sex. This is not considered by many doctors to be a problem, but if it alarms you, call. Up to 70% of all pregnancies have bleeding.
You will be especially scared if you see bright red blood. If you are between 10 and 12 weeks, or if it is a time you would have expected your period, do not panic. Remember that until you are quite far along, much of your uterus is not involved in nourishing the baby, and can bleed with a minor hormone fluctuation. If you are not cramping, call your doctor to let them know, stay lying down on your left side, and hopefully it will slow down, start to turn brown, and eventually stop. If you push the issue, your doctor might schedule a sonogram to put your fears to rest.
When bleeding is a problem: If it is heavy enough to make you change pads or bright red, call your doctor right away. If you begin to have cramps with the bleeding, follow the instructions on "definite signs of miscarriage."
Cramping: You are going to feel a lot of random cramping down there the whole pregnancy. Most of the time it is caused by the round ligaments expanding to accommodate your growing baby and uterus. If it goes away after a few pains or after you sit down and rest a bit, then you are probably all right. Cramping is a sign you are growing to accommodate the baby and sometimes a sign that you are overdoing it and should rest.
When cramping is a problem: If it continues or gets worse or if you start bleeding too, call your doctor immediately. If you begin to have labor-like breathing or a gush of fluid or blood, follow the instructions on "definite signs of miscarriage."
Inability to eat or keep food down. This is normal! Remember that the baby is the size of a grain of rice and not exactly demanding steak dinners. When the baby starts to need the extra 300 calories a day, you will be eating fine. Just do the best you can with your saltines and soda, and remember that the more severe your morning sickness, the better your hormones are functioning.
Few or no pregnancy symptoms. Not everyone spends each day throwing up or sleeping all the time. Many people have symptoms that are light or nonexistent. This does not mean you will miscarry. Each pregnancy is different, and usually pregnancies after the first will be easier on your body. I had so few pregnancy symptoms the third time around that I actually ordered a margarita at a restaurant before my husband said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" This never would have happened with Emily, when I spent every non-working hour sleeping or bawling over a migraine.
You should always call your doctor when you are worried, however; because it is better to call for something that does not turn out to be a problem than to stay up half the night worrying about it.
If you are still positive you are having a miscarriage, check the section on definite signs of miscarriage.