If you read Baby Dust and
fell in love with Stella, the leader of the miscarriage group, she now
has her own book of how she and her husband met. No sadness here, just a
roller coaster romance between two out-of-the-box characters.
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The Sperm Meets Egg Plan Getting pregnant again...faster
Little did I know when I developed this
plan in 1999 that it would end up being my most Googled page! But here
is my pregnancy plan, designed to maximize the effectiveness of your
attempts to get pregnant, and to minimize how long it takes for that
elusive big fat positive.
an expanded version of the Sperm Meets Egg Plan, including sections for
moms over 40, couples with fertility issues, and trying after a loss.
Here is the basic shortened information, if you don't
want to download the free book:
Whether you are trying again after a miscarriage, or frustrated that you
can't seem to get pregnant again after a successful pregnancy, this plan is for
women who have gotten pregnant in the past, and therefore do not have
significant infertility problems that need to be tested and treated. It is also
a good plan to try for a first pregnancy if you want to do something serious to
increase your chances before finally going in for a doctor visit about
Even if you have had an easy time getting pregnant in the past, pregnancy
tends to change your hormonal makeup, so sometimes timing is not the same as it
was before. This plan will ensure that sperm gets to your egg. Whether or not a
viable pregnancy results (the odds are about 1 in 4 even if you time it right),
is up to nature.
Be prepared for a month of serious loving!
"Try" every other night starting Day 8
Buy 10 ovulation predictor kit sticks
Begin ovulation testing on Day 10
When test is positive, "try" that night, plus two additional
nights in a row
Skip one night, then do one last "try"
Take a home pregnancy test 15 days after your ovulation test was positive,
if your period has not begun
If your ovulation test never goes positive, continue "trying"
every other night until Day 35, then do a pregnancy test if your period has
Statistics coming in from women who write me show that about 40% of
post-miscarriage women will get pregnant on the first try if they are
faithful to the plan, about double the number of the normal population who
are not on the plan. This assumes, of course, that you waited for a normal
cycle to begin after your loss, and did not begin trying before having a
period after a miscarriage. Many women do not ovulate in that first cycle.
On day 8 of your cycle, counting from the first day you bled, begin "trying" every other night.
Begin taking Ovulation Predictor Kits (or continue with your Ovulation
computer) on Day 10. Buy two five-packs so as not to scrimp on taking them and
stop too early. To make sure your OPK is working well, take your test in the
afternoon or after work and do not drink any liquids or go to the bathroom for
at least four hours prior to testing. (Morning is not a good time for OPKs,
which look for the LH surge, which usually happens during the day.) Read
your OPK instructions carefully, as usually a faint line does not indicate a
positive, you need a line that is darker than the test line. LH is produced
throughout your cycle and will only predict ovulation when it has a big
your OPK turns positive, begin trying every night for three consecutive nights,
skip the fourth night, and then once more. Then stop! The waiting begins.
Take a home pregnancy test 15 or 16 days after your OPK was positive if your
period has not begun. Do not buy internet pregnancy tests or tests that claim to
work before your period is expected. They are not well manufactured and are not
reliable. They will only cause you more anxiety than you already feel in wanting
to know. Please resist the urge to do a blood test at your doctor's office just
to find out sooner unless you have a medical reason to know early. Fertilized
eggs that do not grow are actually a terrible but normal occurrence as much as
75% of the
time, and seeing a very low put positive blood test in the first 14 days can
place you on a terrible emotional roller coaster. By the time a home pregnancy
test is positive, your baby has safely implanted and your odds of miscarriage
are down to a normal 10%.
Should your OPK never become positive, keep the every other day trying going
until day 35. I recommend at that point taking a home pregnancy test, but even
if it is negative, you might want to take a quantitative hCG blood test at
your doctor's office. Remember that not every women will ovulate every month. I
personally did not ovulate for two months following my first miscarriage.
As you are trying, make sure to "release" the sperm in your partner
at least once during the gap between ovulation and new cycle Day 8 so that
no more than 10 days elapse without new sperm production. Sperm is also a cause of genetic damage,
not just eggs, so keep it fresh! If you are not successful the first
month, it is not because your sperm did not get to your egg. 75% of eggs are lost within the first 14 days due to normal genetic
damage or failure to fertilize. Just keep
Here are a few facts that may surprise you:
Many books tell you that sperm can last for 5 days and the egg for 24
hours. While this is technically true on the very long end (and something to
follow if you trying to NOT get pregnant), most sperm will only last about
two hours if you do not have fertile-quality cervical mucus for it to swim
in. The sperm will struggle to swim up to your uterus, use all its reserves,
and not make it. The egg typically lives only about 12 hours, so it cannot
wait for long. You can now see how important that cervical mucus is! You
will never get pregnant with sperm living two hours and an egg only twelve.
This information is really just to make you feel better if you've been
trying a long time and all your infertility testing came back normal. If the
Deanna-plan does not work and you are faithful to it for three months, take
a dose of plain Robitussin cough syrup (or any cough medicine that says
"expectorant" and NOT "antihistamine") each day (preferably a few hours prior to
"trying") starting around Day 10 until the day after your
ovulation predictor goes off. It should help make all the mucus in your body
runnier, including that produced by your cervix. (Oh the gruesome details
required in baby-making!) The sperm in the runnier mucus will live about two
days, and will be up there and ready for the 12-hour life of the egg. A
NOTE ABOUT CLOMID: Clomid causes cervical mucus to dry up in 25%
of the women who take it. If you notice your mucus is not plentiful as it
was before taking this drug, take the Robitussin and call your doctor to
make sure your really need the Clomid. If you are ovulating on your own and
do not have a documented luteal phase defect, you
most likely do not need it.
"Trying" too often can actually do more harm than good. Do not
try every night! You will get exhausted and sore, and your mucus--both for
fertility and for lubrication--will dry up, and you will stop trying too
early in the month or miss an important day. Every other day is absolutely
sufficient, with three nights in a row during peak time sealing the deal.
Don't worry about stress! Regular old worries about getting pregnant, and
if you will ever have children, are perfectly normal and do NOT affect your
fertility. Ignore those people who tell you just to relax and stop thinking
about it. This is not their problem! The only thing that could actually
affect you is serious stress, like moving to a new house, losing your job,
family deaths, and other things that make you physically ill or depressed.
This can delay your ovulation, or make you not ovulate in a cycle, since you
will produce an excess amount of the stress byproduct called prolactin. It
will not affect you for long, and the next month you should come back and be
An early period is not an indication of an early miscarriage, even if you
know you timed your trying perfectly. Usually it means that the egg was not
fertilizable, and so progesterone was not adequately produced. This shortens
your cycle. Sometimes eggs simply don't develop properly during the
ovulation process. It is usually a one-month problem. If you are regularly
seeing that fewer than 10 days are passing between ovulation and your
period, however, it's time to be tested for a luteal phase defect. You can
read more about that under hormone causes of
Good luck to everyone. Baby dust, baby dust, baby dust!