A video to end the silence.

In the book trailer for the novel Baby Dust, eight women talk about their losses and how they are ready to speak freely to friends and family about their babies.

Double click to view full screen.

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Baby Dust: 
A Novel about Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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"Absolutely stunning, compelling...the truth of what women go through."

Robyn Bear
founder of
Pregnancy Loss
Remembrance Day

"Baby Dust sheds a light on the all-too taboo subject of miscarriage in a raw, compelling, and incredibly realistic way."

Kristin Cook
founder of
Faces of Loss,
Faces of Hope

If you read Baby Dust and fell in love with Stella, the leader of the miscarriage group, she now has her own book of how she and her husband met. No sadness here, just a roller coaster romance between two out-of-the-box characters.

Click to learn more about Stella and Dane

___________

Deanna also has a new FREE ebook on getting pregnant again, based on her tried-and-true, easy-to-follow 
Sperm Meets Egg Plan

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Sony if that is your reader

 

Need a place to store your sonograms and memories?

In the Company of Angels: 
A Memorial Book
is a baby record book just for babies lost to miscarriage or stillbirth. 

Get it at Amazon

Get one discounted through the publisher

 

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Resources

 [Books][Music][Artwork and Sympathy Cards][Web Sites]

 

Baby Dust: A Novel about Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss
by Deanna Roy

The five women sitting in the circle of chairs all had great dreams of motherhood.

Then their babies died.

Melinda sees blood on the floor every day after her loss. Dot believes the wrath of God caused her baby to die. Teenage Tina is trolling internet dating sites for a father for another baby, and Janetís failure to cry means her wedding is off. Stella, the support group leader, must help them while facing the old choices that cost her ever having a family of her own.

Based on the stories of dozens of real survivors, Baby Dust is a moving tribute to the strength of mothers who must endure this impossible loss.

Paperback copies

Barnes and Noble   Amazon  Amazon UK   Signed copy through the publisher

Ebooks

Kindle or Kindle UK   Nook   Goodreads   Smashwords   Kobo

 

In the Company of Angels: A Memorial Book

In 2009, 11 years after losing Casey Shay, Deanna decided that she'd gone long enough without having a baby book to fill out for her first baby, and to write down her memories of her pregnancy. So she made one herself and got it published. It is a 40-page full-color hardcover book filled with images of angels and space to tell about your baby's pregnancy. Every single baby or child she photographed as angels in the book has a story, as all of them had a brother or sister lost to miscarriage. This company of angels are there to guide you through the process of telling your angel's life story, and to remind us that we mothers are the ones who carry so much hope in this world.

The video about the book is on the left side of the page. To order your own copy, visit the publisher's page. You will also get a set of Baby Love Notes, little angel cards to use in the book if you have no sonograms or other images (although pages can be removed) or to use as a card for a grieving friend. If you have questions about this book, feel free to email the publisher. They have discounts for book stores that want to carry it and nonprofits who want to give copies to bereaved parents.

You can also buy this book at Amazon if you prefer.

 

The Sperm Meets Egg Plan, a FREE download on getting pregnant again

Read an expanded version of the Deanna's Sperm Meets Egg Plan, including sections for moms over 40, couples with fertility issues, and trying after a loss. It's free!

Download at iTunes for iPads or iPhones.

Download at Barnes & Noble for the Nook.

Download at Amazon for Kindle, but make sure it's free (they keep trying to charge 99 cents for it -- GRR! Use Smashwords if you're getting charged.)

Download at Smashwords for your computer, smart phone, Kindle, Nook, or other eReaders.

Download at Kobo for international eReaders.

Download at Sony if that is your reader.

 

Deanna's Top Recommendations
I have personally read the following books and believe they are helpful.
Davis, Deborah L. Empty Cradle, Broken Heart. Golden, Colorado: Fulcrum Publishing, 1999 revised edition.

This is the book John and I read in the car in the weeks following our first loss. It takes you through every step of the grieving process, including moving on and trying for your next baby. It includes a solid section on what to expect both physically and mentally after a miscarriage or neonatal death. This book helped us a lot when we worked through it as a couple. Click here for more information.

 

Weschler, Toni. Taking Charge of Your Fertility. New York: Harper Perennial, 2006.

This book is a MUST HAVE if you are trying to get pregnant. For the first time in my life, I finally understood what all my discharges were about, how to truly interpret my temperatures, and all those fine details that mom, doctors, and pamphlets enclosed with products never explained. This book will definitely help you get pregnant faster, or clue you in quicker if you have an infertility problem that needs medical attention. A life saver. Click here for more information.

 

Friedman, Lynn, M.D. and Irene Daria. Miscarriage: A Woman Doctor's Guide. New York: Kensington Health: 2001.

A very quick reading book that concisely covers the causes of miscarriage and the treatments for those causes that can be identified. The emotional side of miscarriage is only glossed over, so this book is for the woman looking for hard facts. One of the better features of the book is a section with three very well written women's stories in complete detail, which is much more helpful than little sound bites from women that most books have. Click here for more information.

 

 

Other Popular Books

Eisenberg, Arlene, Murkoff, Heidi, and Hathaway, Sandee. What to Expect When You're Expecting. New York: Workman Publishing, 1996.

This is the classic book all pregnant women should own. Ask your doctor if he/she will provide you a copy before you buy one.  Click here for more information.

 

Cirulli Lanham, Carol. Pregnancy after a Loss. New York: Berkley Books, 1999.

While this books is very popular and would probably be helpful to someone really worried about the emotional aspects of trying again, I didn't put it on my recommended book list for several reasons. I found it a little trying to harp on every little detail surrounding trying again, and the section on miscarriage causes was woefully short. This will take you slowly and in fine detail through each step of another pregnancy, but I think most women find that once the first few weeks are through, they want to focus on the new baby and not so much the scare. I'm not sure this book would help you enjoy a new pregnancy, and might keep you stuck in a mode where you don't feel like a normal pregnant women. I believe that while you will have nagging doubts throughout a pregnancy after a loss, you do want to move on eventually and are better served if you can do that. Click here for more information.

 

Children's Books

We Were Gonna Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead by Pat Schwiebert. 

A sweet children's book that helps both parents and siblings understand about the loss of the baby that was in mommy's tummy. Click here for more information. You can also watch a sweet video of a little boy reading the book out loud.

 

 
Something Happened
A book for children and parents who have experienced pregnancy loss.

 

 
 

Songs that Heal

 

I have put together a song list appropriate to play at memorials. They are perfect music for the one-hour candle lighting each year on Oct. 15 at 7 p.m. your time if you participate in the International Wave of Light

Clicking on the link takes you to the Amazon page where you can listen to a clip. You can also listen without leaving this page by looking in the sidebar on the left and finding the jukebox. Click on it and select the song you want to hear.

Still by Gerritt Hofsink

You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban

Fly by Celine Dion

Angels Among Us by Alabama

Ave Maria by Josh Groban

My Name by George Canyon

Glory Baby by Watermark

Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne

Held by Natalie Grant

 

Angel Song Lyrics:

If any copyright infringements have occurred, please notify the webmaster and we will remove the offending matter immediately. Please consider the nature of our site and understand that we are here to promote your healing music, nothing more.

If you ever decide you want to buy one of these CDs or downloads, consider purchasing them via the links below to amazon.com. When you use these links to buy the CD, 5% of the cost of the CD goes back to Facts about Miscarriage to help pay for web costs.

Still
Written by Gerrit Hofsink

An amazing song with a woman's voice, written by Gerrit for his grandson who was stillborn. It is available on Itunes, and CDBaby.com or US residents can download it on Amazon for 89 cents by clicking here. If you'd like to hear the whole song, watch the video Deanna made for Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day. Gerrit graciously allowed us to use his beautiful song.


I've been waiting for you for such a long time
You're always on my mind
And I'm laying awake most of the night
Waiting to hold you tight
Now that I do, and look at you
MY heart is breaking, this can't be true

Lost you before I found you
Gone before you came
But I love you just the same
Missed you before I met you
On Earth we never can, but in heaven we'll meet again

Close to my soul, close to my heart
Right from the start
Lost in time, lost in space
Can't wait to see your face

Now that I do, and look at you
MY heart is breaking, this can't be true

Lost you before I found you
Gone before you came
But I love you just the same
Missed you before I met you
On Earth we never can, but in heaven we'll meet again

Sometimes I find myself wondering what to do
With this pain that I'm going through
But I know one day, God will take me away
And I'm coming home to you

And when I do, and look at you
My heart is healing, I know it's true

Lost you before I found you
Gone before you came
But I love you just the same
Missed you before I met you
On Earth we never can, but in heaven we'll meet again
In heaven we'll meet again

 

To Where You Are
Performed by Josh Groban

A beautifully sung ballad about loss and coping.
Click for information about buying the CD with this song.

 

To Where You Are

Who can say for certain
Maybe youíre still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
Youíre still an inspiration
Can it be (? )
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know youíre there
A breath awayís not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isnít faith believing
All power canít be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
ícause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know youíre there
A breath awayís not far
To where you are

I know youíre there
A breath awayís not far
To where you are

My Name
Performed by George Canyon

An old woman dies, reliving the moment she had a stillborn child, only to be reunited with the lost baby at the moment of death.

Click to see the video of this song.
[Click for information about buying the CD with this song.]

Itís cold in here feels like everythingís upside down
I can feel you talking but I can barely make out the sound
I been kicking around these parts, feels like a year
Iím gonna change this world if I ever get out of here
She wants to dress me in pink, paints my bedroom blue
And I just laugh to myself, because only I know the truth
This love is my only emotion
Havenít learned any fear any pain
Itís kind of funny with all this commotion
I guess theyíve got me to blame
And they donít even know my name
And they donít even know my name

Well Iíve never felt so ready, think itís finally time
Cause that big old world is waiting, and itís mine all mine
Just then everything got real quiet, it got real bright
And a man took my hand said donít worry, your momma's gonna be all right
Then he opened the gate, & I followed him in
Said you can wait right here till itís your turn again
And his love is the one true emotion
Heaven knows no fear no pain
I never got to set my wheels in motion
But they loved me just the same
And they never even knew name
Didnít even know my name
You loved me just the same
And you didnít even know my name

Angels Among Us
Performed by Alabama

Should you decide you want this song for your very own, it is available as a CD single and also as part of Alabama's Greatest Hits No. 3.

[Click for information about the CD single Angels Among Us]
[Click for information about Alabama's Greatest Hits No. 3]

Lyrics:

Angels Among Us

I was walking home from school on a cold winter day. 
I took a shortcut through the woods, and I lost my way. 
It was getting late, and I was scared and alone. 
But then a kind old man took my hand and led me home. 
My mama couldn't see him, but he was standing there. 
And I knew in my heart, he was the answer to my prayers.

Chorus
Oh, I believe there are angels among us. 
Sent down to us from somewhere up above. 
They come to you and me in our darkest hours. 
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give. 
To guide us with a light of love.

When life held troubled times and had me down on my knees. 
There's always been someone to come along and comfort me. 
A kind word from a stranger, to lend a helping hand. 
A phone call from a friend, just to say I understand. 
But ain't it kind of funny that at the dark end of the road. 
That someone lights the way with just a single ray of hope.

Chorus

They wear so many faces, show up in the strangest places. 
To grace us with their mercy, in our time of need.
Oh, I believe there are angels among us. 
Sent down to us from somewhere up above. 
They come to you and me in our darkest hours. 
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give. 
To guide us with a light of love.
To guide us with a light of love.

 

Glory Baby
Performed by Watermark
Watermark is a husband and wife team who lost a baby to miscarriage. This song was written just for this baby. They have since had a healthy baby boy.

Should you decide you want this song for your very own, it is available on their CD All Things New.

[Click for information about the CD All Things New, which includes the song "Glory Baby"]

Lyrics:

Glory Baby

Glory baby, you slipped away as fast as we could say baby, baby
You were growing, what happened, dear, you disappeared on us baby, baby

Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we're home with you
Until we're home with you

Chorus

Miss you every day
Miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you
We will hold you

And you'll kiss our tears away
When we're home to stay
Can't wait for the day
When we will see you, we will see you

But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
'Till Mom and Dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do
Before we do

Sweet little babies
It's hard to understand it 'cause we're hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we're stronger people through the growing
And in knowing
That all things will work together for our good
And God works His purposes, just like He said He would
Just like He said He would

Chorus

I can't imagine heaven's lullabies and what they must sound like
But I'll rest in knowing that heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know
All you'll ever know

Chorus

 

Fly
Performed by Celine Dion

Should you decide you want this song for your very own, it is available on Celine Dion's CD "Falling into You"

[Click for information about the CD Falling into You]

Lyrics:

Fly

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wing of Heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this memory bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light


 

This song is sung by The Greenes. Amazon lists this song on a CD, but I can't be positive it's the right one.

Jesus Has a Rocking Chair

Many hopeful moms and dads
Try to have a child of their own
Some will never get the chance
Others do and see them grown
And there are those who are expecting
That precious baby soon
But then it's gone before it ever leaves
The safety of it's mamma's womb

Jesus has a rocking chair
And He holds that precious baby
With oh, such tender care
He takes the place of mom and dad
He's the greatest parent a child could have
Don't worry about the children there
Jesus has a rocking chair

There are those who have a boy or girl
A lovely gift of God
But then sickness or a tragedy
Takes them from their parent's arms
Mammas wish for days gone by
Daddies long for that lost child
But the children are not lost
When you know where they are

She was eighteen and unmarried
Expecting her little one
But in her time of confusion
She took the life of her son
Since then Jesus forgave her
And took all her shame away
Still she cries missing her baby
But she hears the angels say

Jesus has a rocking chair
And He holds that precious baby
With oh, such tender care
He takes the place of mom and dad
He's the greatest parent a child could have
Don't worry about the children there
Jesus has a rocking chair

The Greenes

 

 

Where does this information come from?

Many people are concerned about the quality of information they receive on the Internet. It is a growing concern that people are getting medical advice from poor sources. (I especially despise the dozens of sites out there that act as though some product they sell will prevent miscarriage--it is NOT true and the sites are often filled with bad or slanted information.) 

This site is written completely by Deanna Roy, who lost her own first baby in 1998. Since then, she has interviewed doctors, read countless books, researched both print and web materials, and talked with several thousand women about their experiences via email and her site. 

One thing we do know is that no one--from the terrified woman who is miscarrying to the revered doctors publishing well researched articles in the New England Journal of Medicine--totally agrees on many facts surrounding miscarriage. It is the intent of this web site to provide the most general and accepted of facts, while realizing that every woman's experience is different, and that statistics such as 1 in 500 don't mean much if you are the 1.

This site is certainly not infallible. The only person who can really tell you what is going on is your own doctor. If you are worried or experiencing problems, you simply MUST see a qualified ob/gyn or fertility specialist. Research is helpful and empowering, but will not stop your bleeding or tell you exactly what went wrong in your pregnancy.

To see my book and web resources, scroll to the top of this page. I also have Footnotes in newer parts of the site.