Resources

Baby Dust: A Novel about Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss
by Deanna Roy

The five women sitting in the circle of chairs all had great dreams of motherhood.

Then their babies died.

Melinda sees blood on the floor every day after her loss. Dot believes the wrath of God caused her baby to die. Teenage Tina is trolling internet dating sites for a father for another baby, and Janet’s failure to cry means her wedding is off. Stella, the support group leader, must help them while facing the old choices that cost her ever having a family of her own.

Based on the stories of dozens of real survivors, Baby Dust is a moving tribute to the strength of mothers who must endure this impossible loss.

Paperback copies

Barnes and Noble Amazon Amazon UK Signed copy through the publisher

Ebooks

Kindle or Kindle UK Nook Goodreads Smashwords Kobo

In the Company of Angels: A Memorial Book

In 2009, 11 years after losing Casey Shay, Deanna decided that she'd gone long enough without having a baby book to fill out for her first baby, and to write down her memories of her pregnancy. So she made one herself and got it published. It is a 40-page full-color hardcover book filled with images of angels and space to tell about your baby's pregnancy. Every single baby or child she photographed as angels in the book has a story, as all of them had a brother or sister lost to miscarriage. This company of angels are there to guide you through the process of telling your angel's life story, and to remind us that we mothers are the ones who carry so much hope in this world.

The video about the book is on the left side of the page. To order your own copy, visit the publisher's page. You will also get a set of Baby Love Notes, little angel cards to use in the book if you have no sonograms or other images (although pages can be removed) or to use as a card for a grieving friend. If you have questions about this book, feel free to email the publisher. They have discounts for book stores that want to carry it and nonprofits who want to give copies to bereaved parents.

You can also buy this book at Amazon if you prefer.

The Sperm Meets Egg Plan, a FREE download on getting pregnant again

Read an expanded version of the Deanna's Sperm Meets Egg Plan, including sections for moms over 40, couples with fertility issues, and trying after a loss. It's free!

Download at iTunes for iPads or iPhones.

Download at Barnes & Noble for the Nook.

Download at Amazon for Kindle, but make sure it's free (they keep trying to charge 99 cents for it -- GRR! Use Smashwords if you're getting charged.)

Download at Smashwords for your computer, smart phone, Kindle, Nook, or other eReaders.

Download at Kobo for international eReaders.

Download at Sony if that is your reader.

Deanna's Top Recommendations
I have personally read the following books and believe they are helpful.

Davis, Deborah L. Empty Cradle, Broken Heart. Golden, Colorado: Fulcrum Publishing, 1999 revised edition.

This is the book John and I read in the car in the weeks following our first loss. It takes you through every step of the grieving process, including moving on and trying for your next baby. It includes a solid section on what to expect both physically and mentally after a miscarriage or neonatal death. This book helped us a lot when we worked through it as a couple. Click here for more information.

Weschler, Toni. Taking Charge of Your Fertility. New York: Harper Perennial, 2006.

This book is a MUST HAVE if you are trying to get pregnant. For the first time in my life, I finally understood what all my discharges were about, how to truly interpret my temperatures, and all those fine details that mom, doctors, and pamphlets enclosed with products never explained. This book will definitely help you get pregnant faster, or clue you in quicker if you have an infertility problem that needs medical attention. A life saver. Click here for more information.

Friedman, Lynn, M.D. and Irene Daria. Miscarriage: A Woman Doctor's Guide. New York: Kensington Health: 2001.

A very quick reading book that concisely covers the causes of miscarriage and the treatments for those causes that can be identified. The emotional side of miscarriage is only glossed over, so this book is for the woman looking for hard facts. One of the better features of the book is a section with three very well written women's stories in complete detail, which is much more helpful than little sound bites from women that most books have. Click here for more information.

Fly

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wing of Heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this memory bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light

This song is sung by The Greenes. Amazon lists this song on a CD, but I can't be positive it's the right one.

Jesus Has a Rocking Chair

Many hopeful moms and dads
Try to have a child of their own
Some will never get the chance
Others do and see them grown
And there are those who are expecting
That precious baby soon
But then it's gone before it ever leaves
The safety of it's mamma's womb

Jesus has a rocking chair
And He holds that precious baby
With oh, such tender care
He takes the place of mom and dad
He's the greatest parent a child could have
Don't worry about the children there
Jesus has a rocking chair

There are those who have a boy or girl
A lovely gift of God
But then sickness or a tragedy
Takes them from their parent's arms
Mammas wish for days gone by
Daddies long for that lost child
But the children are not lost
When you know where they are

She was eighteen and unmarried
Expecting her little one
But in her time of confusion
She took the life of her son
Since then Jesus forgave her
And took all her shame away
Still she cries missing her baby
But she hears the angels say

Jesus has a rocking chair
And He holds that precious baby
With oh, such tender care
He takes the place of mom and dad
He's the greatest parent a child could have
Don't worry about the children there
Jesus has a rocking chair

The Greenes

Many people are concerned about the quality of information they receive on the Internet. It is a growing concern that people are getting medical advice from poor sources. (I especially despise the dozens of sites out there that act as though some product they sell will prevent miscarriage--it is NOT true and the sites are often filled with bad or slanted information.)

This site is written completely by Deanna Roy, who lost her own first baby in 1998. Since then, she has interviewed doctors, read countless books, researched both print and web materials, and talked with several thousand women about their experiences via email and her site.

One thing we do know is that no one--from the terrified woman who is miscarrying to the revered doctors publishing well researched articles in the New England Journal of Medicine--totally agrees on many facts surrounding miscarriage. It is the intent of this web site to provide the most general and accepted of facts, while realizing that every woman's experience is different, and that statistics such as 1 in 500 don't mean much if you are the 1.

This site is certainly not infallible. The only person who can really tell you what is going on is your own doctor. If you are worried or experiencing problems, you simply MUST see a qualified ob/gyn or fertility specialist. Research is helpful and empowering, but will not stop your bleeding or tell you exactly what went wrong in your pregnancy.

To see my book and web resources, scroll to the top of this page. I also have Footnotes in newer parts of the site.