A video to end the silence.

In the book trailer for the novel Baby Dust, eight women talk about their losses and how they are ready to speak freely to friends and family about their babies.

Double click to view full screen.

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Baby Dust: 
A Novel about Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

Read the first chapter

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"Absolutely stunning, compelling...the truth of what women go through."

Robyn Bear
founder of
Pregnancy Loss
Remembrance Day

"Baby Dust sheds a light on the all-too taboo subject of miscarriage in a raw, compelling, and incredibly realistic way."

Kristin Cook
founder of
Faces of Loss,
Faces of Hope

If you read Baby Dust and fell in love with Stella, the leader of the miscarriage group, she now has her own book of how she and her husband met. No sadness here, just a roller coaster romance between two out-of-the-box characters.

Click to learn more about Stella and Dane

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Deanna also has a new FREE ebook on getting pregnant again, based on her tried-and-true, easy-to-follow 
Sperm Meets Egg Plan

iTunes

Barnes & Noble for the Nook

Amazon for Kindle

Smashwords for your computer, smart phone, Kindle, Nook, or other eReaders

Kobo for international eReaders

Sony if that is your reader

 

Need a place to store your sonograms and memories?

In the Company of Angels: 
A Memorial Book
is a baby record book just for babies lost to miscarriage or stillbirth. 

Get it at Amazon

Get one discounted through the publisher

 

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and Photos about
Your Baby
at our Facebook Page

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

Recovery

This is an overview. 
For more specific aspects of recovery, follow these links:

[ First Few Days ]

[ Waiting for a Period ]

[ The First Period ]

[ New Cycles ]

 
Physically, you will recover completely from a D&C or D&E in about two weeks. The bleeding should subside, your cycle will start up again, and the hormone-induced mood swings will even out. It will still take four to seven weeks to start a totally new cycle, and you should wait at least that long before trying again. 
 
A birth takes considerably longer to recover from. You may have shaved areas that will grow out and itch or burn. You may have stitches that will be sore for a few weeks. This recovery is like any other post-partum. Check with your doctor in how long you must wait to try again. A general rule of thumb is that you must wait a cycle for every two months you were pregnant.
 
A natural miscarriage can take considerably longer. You may have to wait days or even a couple of weeks before the bleeding and cramping begin. (Don't go more than two weeks without talking to your doctor about possibly getting a D&C. Studies show the longer you carry a lost pregnancy, the more likely you are to get seriously depressed, and the more likely you may have physical complications.) The actual miscarriage may only take a few days, or may drag out over several weeks. 
 
For more information on the actual passage of tissue or how a D&C or D&E is handled, see miscarriage descriptions. Usually you will have to wait four to seven weeks for a new cycle to begin regardless of how the miscarriage happens, although a birth near term can delay your first period for several months. You should not try to conceive again during this time. For reasons why, see trying again.
 
The emotional recovery is another story altogether. One thing I will point out immediately is that your level of sadness is not at all tied to how far along you were. Everyone will be surprised by their emotions. Some will be near absolute despair and wish to join their baby. Some will be unpleasantly numb and feel nothing at all. Most will swing somewhere in the middle, seemingly okay one minute, then sobbing as if it were only yesterday. All the stages of grief will almost always be visited. Shock, numbness, denial, anger, guilt, depression, and finally resolution are all emotions you will experience. They do not come in order; some stages may go on for many weeks and others only a few hours. No two people grieve the same, as you will quickly see when your partner does not react the same way as you do. Don't expect that you will "get over it" in a few weeks or even months. Don't assume that getting pregnant again will turn everything around. Don't give yourself a timetable. Just let the emotions come and go and try to keep your life going. 
 
So, you ask, when WILL I feel better? In some ways, you never will. The complete innocence and pure joy of pregnancy will not come back. But you will feel better than you do right now. Your life will go on, you will try again, and you will survive. There is much more to happen in your life. You have to keep going to see what it is. Only when you look back on where you were will you see that you do indeed feel a little bit better. For more information on emotional recovery, see "How to Cope."

Once again, here are the additional topics under recovery: