In the book trailer for the novel BabyDust, eight women talk about
their losses and how they are ready to speak freely to friends and
family about their babies.
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Coping with Fear
When a new pregnancy is not going well, or even if it is, you
can have a hard time dealing with doctor visits, heartbeat checks, and any sort
of symptom or lack of it will send you into a fit of fear. This is expected, and
normal, and doesn't affect your baby in any way. Stress is part of the
post-miscarriage picture for everyone, and 87% of us have our babies just fine.
Make sure your doctor is comforting, caring, and willing to do
the following to help you:
Do hCG tests when you feel the need in the early weeks
Perform a sonogram at 7 weeks to see the heartbeat if you
are worried
Allow you to come in for a Doppler heartbeat check with the
nurses any time after the 13th week when you feel worried about the baby's
condition
When the going gets rough, you have a choice:
You can fill these pregnant days with worry and fear and tears, or
you can fill them with hope, happiness, and love. Your memories of this
pregnancy, no matter how it ends, are being built. Do your best to have some
sweet moments where only your love for your baby overwhelms you, and not just
fear of the future.
This is what we moms have to learn to do--be strong, stay constant, and breathe deeply.
You have already been through the worst and survived. You are going to get through this. I promise.
